Aren't we silly?!

Here is our rider/guest list (april 2000):

Anyone we like, alcohol, electronic laxatives, heretics, haribo (6 assorted packs), tea, coffee, absinthe,balloons (colourful ones), a latin interpreter, Claire, Large arty banners, compressed mice (1 cubic centimetre), ninja masks, Berol Pens, Pat Sharpe of Fun House fame, DJ Psion, Happy Fluffy Bunnies, Jack Daniels, our guitars, amps, pedals, PS, mics, leads, drumkit, etc etc, a melted clock, anyone famous (especially James Dean Bradfield), Mary Jane (the person), packets of straws, Uncle Ichebob, Mortiis, Live Ammunition, a travelling hairdresser, the village idiot, pringles, sandwich bar, clean pants (x10) and socks (x20), gin, ginger beer, a deaf bear, Garth, Chinese water torture, a device for slowing down electrons so the atoms collapse, large clothes, razor blades, vodka and mixers,
2x Range Rovers (6 wheel) with a big trailery thingy, CDs and a hi-fi, pepsi-cola (varoius types), Mary Jane (the substance), three foreign chefs with own kitchens, two pixies screwing in a lightbulb, an upside down reversed clock, the blood of a beautiful young russian virgin, a capybara and capybara owner/exper called Roger or Mike, other peoples' musical epuipment, support band and stuff, us, sex+drugs+rock'n'roll, the PTQ crew, Russell, Cerberus, Safe Game Boys, Dave and Weaponry, Gymnasts, the pickled brain of andy Warhol, an EM pulse generator, physists, earthing, black metallers, a really useful thingy, human scarves, australians, hazel, groupies, roadies, roadie groupies, breakfast cereals, **** equipment.

Above was compiled in april 2000 in Reilly's room. Props!

Banned from **** shows

Unmodified telecasters, danelectros, burns guitars, Len, big 12 (except Sony), crap bands, Malcolm, Mr Chips, computers, stains, facism, oppression, capitalism and general nastyness, artificial insemination, the tories, goths, hats with corks, cheap beer, stubble (that means YOU dave!), Death, ismism, Brian May, Jeremy Beadle.

hi my name's Bob(not the builder) and I represent Parlophone records. I
think **** are ace especially that guitarist gareth i think you called him
he could be the next Eric Clapton. That other guitarist eh.. you well quite
frankly you were not as good. Halfway through a song you attempted to play
a minor D Lydian run and you started on an F#!!!!
You wouldn't catch Gareth comitting such a crime against guitaristkind, now
there's a guitarist who knows his licks.
I think your band have potential especially if you write some songs which
i'm sure will be good.
Keep at it, just don't go Korn and get 7-strings and don't do a Godspeed cos
no-one will listen.
Send me a demo sometime.
The future of the British music scene lies in your afro.

ME: " so guys, i think what we're trying to say is that in this
idiosyncratic, ideologically flawed, morally bankrupt age is that there is
hope not just for the salvation of our mortal souls but in the very escence
of life itself we find reasons to be cheerful, i mean we're alone in a
godless universe, we will probably all kill each other by 2025, we're
destroying the best thing about us: our planet and everyone is just obsessed
with fuckin' money which you can buy stuff with which gets you nowhere or i
don't know .... you can fuck a monkey and get locked up which is what i
intend to do if our album doesn't sell. people believe in a blind ideology
that has for one no solid foundation and secondly has no relevance and
secondly(part b) is just like totally fuckin' gay 'n stuff."

Niall:" all i wanna do is look cool with a guitar and talk to girls"

NME: " quite....eh so the new album then..."

ME: " you may as well believe in King Kong, 6 billion headless chickens
can't be wrong,..."

DAVE:"chinner, chinner, chinner,niall, chinner"

ME AND YOU(SCREAMING): "fuckin what dave!!!??????!!?!??!?"

DAVE:"i've seen King Kong"

Channel 8 Documentary presenter: "Yes I think you (****) were the first band
to popularise the now standard two guitar, piano, autoharp, bass, two vocal,
drums,
percussion, string quartet, tin whistle and trumpet modern rock format.
Guitar, bass and drums were getting a little stale for everyone else in the
genre as well as them at the start of this century."

Me: "With only two people in the band recording's a little difficult though.
I like to get the master tim whistle track down first and build it up from
there"

You: "TiM whistle?"

Me: "Tim is gay"

Jane: "I love you guys. I'm so glad I got those drum lessons and a new kit
back at Queen's. I wish I'd never left **** in the first place. I'm back 4
good now though."

Lara: "Kids, listen. Drugs are bad. I took steroids for 4 years to bulk
myself up to be a singer, and one bizarre accident with a vacuum cleaner and
it was all fucked."

You: "Made a good poster though"

Mike: "I'm stoned!"

NME: "Do you guys mind if I have a word?"

All (in unison): "Yes. Fuck off"

Er... I guess. Money is good but creativity but money. I think it's like
paper, scissors, stoned though cos you need money to get stuff to be
creative with.

Shoes can look like Aircraft Carriers. and sometines alligators.

6.2 million people can be wrong. Look at 'Stars' by Simply Red. I think it
sold, like, 12 million in a year or something. I hate them. They're like an
even more MOR Toploader. Fuck MOR.